I am so down.
A week ago I mailed off our application packet containing letters, copies of all the receipts for the IUIs we have already done, copies of our income statements and tax returns. I wrote a letter so that they would know us, know our story and understand our situation. It took me 2 pages. Even then I wanted them to know us more. I enclosed photos. My friend Lilly crossed it and kissed it and asked a blessing on it before I put it in the mail.
All of this went to a drug company that manufactures the most expensive injectable drug I need for our IVF cycle. They have a "compassionate program" (no doubt government mandated) that is designed to assist couples by granting them one "cycle" of the drug for free. (A cycle would typically cost $2,000 - $4,000.) Getting that grant could mean that we could start much sooner at working toward this goal. When I spoke to them I was given so much hope that they really wanted to see this happen for us.
Wednesday I got a call saying that The Review Board was asking for a little more information, which I faxed to them immediately.
Today they called to let me know that we have been denied.
It seems that we are stuck in the middle-class catch 22: make too much money to qualify for any assistance and yet not enough to pay for it on our own. There are so many people in that situation for so many things. It makes me feel like an ungrateful person to be complaining about being middle-class. Thankfully this is my blog and I'm allowed to vent.
I am so sad, so frustrated, so devastated. I'm not even angry - I guess I haven't gotten to that part yet. Knowing me, it will come.
We are an industrious pair. (Although Tim makes sure we are industrious within the limits of the law, so that really eliminates all the great heist schemes I can dream up. Haha.) I'm sure we'll come up with something... so fare the Grand Plan includes getting our tax returns filed this weekend and hoping for a nice return. In the meantime I kind of just want to lay around and mope.
Somebody send me a bright idea and a hug.
About Me
- Autumn
- Learning to navigate the unpredictable waters of life as a new mom and a young widow.... still with the sweetest puppy imaginable.
1 comments:
It will happen for you two. In the meantime, you can really dream up all the little baby stuff without the pressure of being pregnant and on a ticking clock. (Trying to look at the bright side?? :/ )
Have you thought about starting the nursery? I know it sounds far off, but I've heard that some people who are trying will start their nursery anyways hoping it will attract all that positive baby energy. Just a thought.
Virtual hugs coming your way.
Oh and it's okay to be angry. It's more than okay.
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