Feels Like Home

When Tim and I first met, there was this song that made me think of him. It basically talks about not knowing what love is until you meet this person. Not realizing what you have been living without until this person comes into your life and wanting to hold onto this love forever.

That's what I felt with Tim every day. He brought a sparkle into my eyes that wasn't there since I was a child. With him, every day was an adventure, everything was more vibrant and beautiful. It was a constant competition of doing nice things for each other. Every day was a rainbow.

Tonight I turned on Pandora and listened to music while I made my Grandma's special rolls for Thanksgiving tomorrow. We are going to Tim's parent's house just like last year and all the years before. But it will be so different. So empty, so quiet. Tim won't be there to whisper something funny to me or secretly hold my hand under the table. As I stood there making all these rolls tonight, I was thinking about last year and Tim sitting there chatting with me as I rolled them up - commenting on how good they smelled, asking if he could eat an ugly one. It was our first holiday in our new house and he was so proud that I finally had a kitchen where I could cook like I wanted to.

I'm happy to be driving up north with Brittany in the morning. Happy that I'll be surrounded not just by my family, but Tim's family - those who are feeling the same loss and emptiness that I am. I hope we will laugh, I know we will cry.

These are the lyrics to the song "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk:

Something in your eyes
Makes me want to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
There's something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've felt so low
If you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

Chorus: Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where
I come from
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks down a long dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there's light

If you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
If you knew how happy you are making me
I've never thought I'd love anyone so much

Chorus 

Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.