364 Un-Birthdays: A Birth Story

After weeks of practically begging my OB for an induction, I was scheduled for one on Monday 1/23/12 at 10am. The days leading up to that day were spent furiously cleaning, organizing and doing last-minute preparations for the arrival of our sweet babies. I was rushing around with no time for clear thought or reflection - driven solely by the thought of finally having our babies in my arms.

I snapped a couple last photos of my bare, pregnant belly before I drove my mom and myself to the hospital and wheeled my big suitcase inside. We met my friend Shannon who would be serving as my other labor coach. We entered the registration area where I was met by the same smiling face of the lady who had checked me in for the last many Thursdays for my NSTs. Finally I was here for the real deal. She placed 2 bracelets on my wrist. The real kind, not the thin ones you get when you pay your concert admission.

My step-daughter Brittany, my in-laws and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were all gathered in a waiting room anticipating the babies' arrival. The world was at a stand-still as far as any of us were concerned. We were all here for one important reason. Today would be the day that all my in-law's grandchildren were born on Mondays. This morning Brittany made her Dad proud by picking up 2 newspapers for the babies to look back on many years from now. The day I finally get to meet the people Tim and I created out of the greatest love I have ever known. A whole room, Department, family, community and loved ones around the world are ready and waiting.

In labor and delivery, I got into comfortable nursing pajamas. 3 probes are strapped to my very swollen belly to monitor the babies and me just like every Thursday. An IV was run and Pitocin began dripping into my body. I had not wanted to be induced - I wanted no Pitocin, having read "horror" stories about it. Now, I just wanted my babies. Up 2 mg at a time, the dosage was increased every half hour.

"Is anything happening?"
"No."

"Anything?"
"No. Nothing."

I reached the max dosage of 24mg with no changes. I am told that I should go walk around for awhile. Go to the cafeteria and eat some food. I knew this was not a good sign. No laboring woman is allowed to eat, but I was not laboring, was I? I ate soup and a big cookie. The soup was good. The cookie was just alright.

Back to the room. Still no changes. Back on Pitocin. Back to waiting. Reading trashy magazines usually reserved for the hair salon. Mom and Shannon are dozing off while I sit listening to their breathing just wishing for sleep and wishing that things would move along. Willing my cervix to dilate so I can meet our babies.

Tuesday creeps in.

There is some progression and the decision is made to break my water. It doesn't hurt. An hour passes before the contractions catch up to me.

"Rate your pain for me."
"Five or six. This is not comfortable. I am not comfortable."
"She's more like a seven or eight."
"Aghhh. This is not comfortable!"

They offer me an epidural. I don't think I have endured enough to justify it yet. Childbirth is supposed to be hard, and this is just becoming hard. I wait.

A little while later I do want that epidural. I didn't know it would take 15 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive and drive it into my spine. Those were long minutes followed my a pinch, a burn and sweet relief.

Now they think I can't walk so I need a catheter. Funny thing is I can move my legs freely. Inserting the catheter hurts worse than the contractions had. I'm not numb where I need to be numb. I am getting scared. I don't want to give birth when I can feel my lady parts. I want more medicine, but they can't give it to me yet.

The external monitors are not giving the Dr all the information he needs, so the decision is made to place an internal monitor on one of the babies' heads. It hurts like the catheter did, but the discomfort is lingering. Neither sitting nor laying on my side is tolerable. Mom and Shannon are dozing off again. I'm playing some version of Scrabble on my cell phone. I'm losing game after game.

I'm getting the feeling things are not going well. The nurses keep checking me and my progress is minimal. The internal monitor is not registering and every attempt to re-position it is painful, but they don't want to remove it. When the Dr comes in to check me, I ask him and he agrees to remove it. He is now my favorite person.

It is now nearly noon. I have not slept aside from a small dozing here and there. I am exhausted. A nurse checks me and calls the Doctor to check me. I can tell he is not liking what he sees. He talks to me frankly. The babies are being squished by my contractions that are not progressing. Every step they take to try to advance the delivery seems to set it back instead. The harder I we work at it, the farther I am getting from the vaginal delivery I had envisioned. But nothing about this day is at all what I had envisioned because Tim isn't here like he should be. I am surrounded by people who love me or have my best interest at heart, but I am alone.

He is suggesting I strongly consider a c-section. I am free to continue to labor but he feels that it is not going to get better for me in my state of exhaustion or for the babies who are being subjected to a labor that is not progressing. There are 6 people in the room. All agree that the c-section is the right thing to do. I concur.

The doctor goes off to check the OR schedule. He thinks they can get me in in the early afternoon.

Moments later, the Doctor and a small crew of people come into the room.

"Now. We're going now," he says while directing people to pack up my things and get me prepped. Shannon is gathering my things onto a cart to take to my pre-selected post-partem  room. Mom is rushing around preparing to head to the OR with me. I am sending a few select texts to let those closest know I am heading in for a c-section.

I feel a strange sense of relief that I have no time to over think or dwell on the situation. Relief that I am finally about to meet the two people who will forever change my life and my role in life.

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Stay tuned for the rest of the story.