December 1st

The last month I have done a little social media exercise where each day I posted to my Facebook page something that I am grateful for. I tried not to get to mundane or material, because very few of the things I am grateful for are material. I've often said I would "rather be happy in a cardboard box than miserable in a mansion".

The exercise was for the entire month of November.

Today is December 1st and it is over.

This date is very important to me, because on this date 6 years ago, I met Tim. Was it fate? Coincidence? A chance event? I don't know that, but I do know that our meeting that night changed the course of history in so many ways.

Tim forever changed who I am and how I view the world. He changed my priorities. We made 2 beautiful children together, who I am certain will go on to do great things. And Tim left with me his important message to shout from the mountain tops so that no man will have to endure what he did.

December 1st will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the date that the great love of my life sat across from me over a plate of pancakes and pried open my heart and climbed inside. One of those moments so defined that I think of time as "before I met Tim" and "after I met Tim".

This morning, I attended an event put on by the same organization that did the BBQ for Tim only days before he passed away. So many of Tim's fellow officers were there and marveled at the babies. Afterward, we attended the birthday party of their twin BFFs, who were turning one.

Tonight I had a huge final paper due in one of my classes that kept me going non-stop until just now.

This is the first time all day I have had to sit and think and shed a tear for what I miss and what should have been.

Today I am thankful for time spent too busy to wallow, and also for quite time to reflect.