Changes

I'm writing this from the body of a woman in her 26th week of pregnancy. There are parts of this body that I recognize, but those parts are few. It seems that everything from my eyes to my toes has undergone a transformation.

This is not a complaint, in fact I have enjoyed watching these changes to an extent. (Yes, I am still lathering on lotions and potions all over my tummy to avoid any lasting reminders of this transformation!)

When I was first pregnant and I "thought" I was showing , Tim and I stopped by the Motherhood maternity store in the mall so that I could buy a shirt or 2 from their clearance rack. I went into their dressing room and discovered something new to me. In there they have a baby bump pillow with a velcro strap to wrap around your tummy so that you look more pregnant while trying on clothes. I laughed and put it on before stepping out to show Tim the top I was trying on. He choked up and patted my "belly" and talked about how he was so excited. Every week he marveled at my changing figure and he was loving it. He would talk to the babies and I would make voiced back saying "hi, daddy!"

Every change that is happening, I know he is watching us, but I so wish that he was here to talk to my growing belly, snuggle me in bed and kid me about my expanding boobs. On the days I feel less than attractive, I imagine hearing him say, "You look great. You always look great" as he often did. Nobody knows what I need to hear like Tim.

The thing I am enjoying most right now is feeling the babies move. We often talked about how cool it would be to be able to see them moving inside me. Although I'm not quite to that stage, I think back to the evenings we spent watching video after video on youtube of babies feet sliding across mommy's swollen bellies and dreaming of the day that it would be us.

Last night I started wondering if Tim can see the babies inside me. I know that thinking too much might not be productive, but I just can't help it. I have so many questions and no answers.