Support Systems

They say that in the roughest of times, you find out who your friends are. I'm not sure who "they" are that say this, but I have witnessed it in the last 2 months.

It has made me so sad to see Brittany struggling through losing her perfect dad with a limited support system here in the Valley. Unfortunately many of her friends just don't know what to do or say, and thus they do and say nothing. Honestly, at 20, how many of us knew how to comfort a friend who had lost a parent? Very few, excluding the other kids who have walked that terrible path. While she has needed comfort, many couldn't find the words. When she has needed company, they were too busy living life to see that hers was at a stand still. When she has needed normalcy, they have been awkward. It's been hard to watch and it has added to my heartache for sure.

Fortunately, apparently by our 30's we know a little more. We understand that sometimes there aren't the right words, but a hug will do. We have learned that sometimes you don't have to say anything at all - just being there counts. We still make the call and extend the invitation even if we know it will be declined. I would also say that in the roughest of times you find out what kind of friend you have been, because with friendships, you often reap what you sow.

I have learned what I always knew - that I have the best friends around. That I may be an only child by blood, but my "sisters by choice" are part of my family.

Since I lost Tim, my ladies have been by my side and stayed with me every night. They have taken my calls when I just need to talk about nothing and when I need to cry about missing Tim. They have listened to my stories, my nonsense and by blubbering sobs. They have been there for me morning, noon and night.

I hope that this means that they are somehow showing me that I have also been a good friend to them. We have pulled each other through the good times and bad. The laughter, the celebrations, the breakups, the births, the promotions and lay offs, birthdays, funerals, you name it. I've always known where I could turn, than they have always known that they could turn to me.

To my sisters: I thank you and I know that without you I would be a mess. I love you and I'll never, ever be able to repay you for your love and kindness.